Pay Check

It was rush hour and the bus was packed. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, 'Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!'

'I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket.'

'Oh really,' she spat. 'Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!'